WHEN TO MAKE PHYSICAL CONTACT IN CONVERSATION
We all know that physical contact makes us more connected, and can even cause us to heal faster if we are sick. In conversation, there are so many opportunities to make contact with others, and we don't do it. Why?
So much of our culture is based on physical touch, and we typically resist making contact with others (except for handshakes) due to either a fear of rejection, appearing too forward, or being 'touchy'.
As it turns out, almost everyone you meet can appreciate contact with people they are getting to know, or with close friends. I thought I'd help to bridge the gap by saying it's okay to make contact during conversation, but the timing needs to be right to ensure it's received in the best way possible.
So much of our culture is based on physical touch, and we typically resist making contact with others (except for handshakes) due to either a fear of rejection, appearing too forward, or being 'touchy'.
As it turns out, almost everyone you meet can appreciate contact with people they are getting to know, or with close friends. I thought I'd help to bridge the gap by saying it's okay to make contact during conversation, but the timing needs to be right to ensure it's received in the best way possible.
The nine best times to make physical contact:
1. When you're agreeing with someone
When people agree with what we are saying, not only is it the best time for us to feel connection and contact, we also don't mind being redirected physically or interrupted in a conversation.
2. Before or during extremely important or emotional high points of a story
When we hit a high point in a story, we can share that excitement by connecting with others, and it's socially appropriate to do so.
3. First introductions - within the first minute
After you've met someone, make it a point to make some form of contact to the shoulder or arm within a minute or two of meeting them. This solidifies the conversation more into their memory, and makes you more likable when they remember the event.
4. When excusing yourself
Excusing yourself to the restroom, from a table, or for the evening is the best time to make shoulder or arm contact.
5. When displaying excitement in a story
Share small excitements or things that make you smile with others. When you're discussing something that physically makes you smile, feel free to share it.
6. When someone discusses something saddening that happened to them
This contact is made to offer physical connection and sympathy to someone. If you're using the methods in The Ellipsis Manual, it is NOT recommended to make physical contact when ANYTHING negative is being discussed.
7. During a 'close'
If you're in sales, or just trying to encourage someone to make a decision, the physical contact during the close (called activation in The Ellipsis Manual) is a KEY time to make physical contact with them not only to ensure they are making a good decision, but to align that with the warm feeling you've created with them by building solid rapport before the 'close'.
8. When creating upward emotional 'anchors'
The Ellipsis Manual and many other techniques rely on 'anchors' and setting them is easier and more powerful when there's a physical aspect to it.
bit.ly/ELLIPSIS
9. When using the person's name
We love our own names, and connecting with someone else when we hear it makes it more meaningful, and helps to deepen rapport.
When people agree with what we are saying, not only is it the best time for us to feel connection and contact, we also don't mind being redirected physically or interrupted in a conversation.
2. Before or during extremely important or emotional high points of a story
When we hit a high point in a story, we can share that excitement by connecting with others, and it's socially appropriate to do so.
3. First introductions - within the first minute
After you've met someone, make it a point to make some form of contact to the shoulder or arm within a minute or two of meeting them. This solidifies the conversation more into their memory, and makes you more likable when they remember the event.
4. When excusing yourself
Excusing yourself to the restroom, from a table, or for the evening is the best time to make shoulder or arm contact.
5. When displaying excitement in a story
Share small excitements or things that make you smile with others. When you're discussing something that physically makes you smile, feel free to share it.
6. When someone discusses something saddening that happened to them
This contact is made to offer physical connection and sympathy to someone. If you're using the methods in The Ellipsis Manual, it is NOT recommended to make physical contact when ANYTHING negative is being discussed.
7. During a 'close'
If you're in sales, or just trying to encourage someone to make a decision, the physical contact during the close (called activation in The Ellipsis Manual) is a KEY time to make physical contact with them not only to ensure they are making a good decision, but to align that with the warm feeling you've created with them by building solid rapport before the 'close'.
8. When creating upward emotional 'anchors'
The Ellipsis Manual and many other techniques rely on 'anchors' and setting them is easier and more powerful when there's a physical aspect to it.
bit.ly/ELLIPSIS
9. When using the person's name
We love our own names, and connecting with someone else when we hear it makes it more meaningful, and helps to deepen rapport.