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Charisma = Beliefs - Shame

June 28th, 2024

Friday Night Live With Chase Hughes
Friday Night Live With Chase Hughes

Never try to convince anyone of anything. Ever. Stop this forever for the rest of your life.


You'll be dealing with all sorts of people, but it's important to identify which of the Five limiting beliefs that almost all people have - this shows where they are on the level of consciousness:

  1. You have to work your ass off to get money / suffering is noble and good.

  2. I wish I had more / simple things aren't worth that much.

  3. People won't like the real me / I am not enough.

  4. I don't deserve that.

  5. Wealthy people must have either tricked someone, or they are selfish



Score yourself 1 - 5 on the below (1 being poor, 5 being excellent):

  1. My ability to converse with people I don't know

  2. My ability to converse with people of higher ‘status’ than mine

  3. My ability to make new friends through in-person interactions

  4. My ability to admit fault when I’m wrong

  5. My ability to accept compliments from others gracefully

  6. My ability to introduce people

  7. My ability to tell a good story that captivates others

  8. My ability to make small talk to build rapport

  9. My comfort with overseeing a person or group of ‘new’ people I don’t know well

  10. My ability to ask a neighbor I don’t know well to turn the music down without a confrontation

  11. My ability to make a stranger laugh

  12. My ability to be vulnerable and open in conversations

  13. My ability to address difficult situations with people close to me

  14. My ability to address difficult conversations with people at work

  15. My ability to stay present and ‘out of my head’ during conversations

  16. My ability to issue orders when it’s appropriate

  17. My ability to ask a stranger for a favor


Frame control is more about non-reactivity than anything else. The same goes for composure and stillness. It shows you’re not pressured or affected by things going on around you. Silence is one of the best ways to start practicing this. Slow down, and don’t be uncomfortable pausing for time to think.

People only give themselves 30% of the time they would give someone else to respond to questions and conversations. This is why people speaking on stage don’t stop.

Never try to convince anyone of anything. Ever. Stop this forever for the rest of your life. In your mind, if someone’s not playing along, your internal brain should be thinking ‘They are a non-believer’.

This comes so easy when you develop the internal belief that Things Will Be Okay.

When you live in the truth, you stop worrying about rejection, and you stop worrying you’ll say the wrong thing. You look forward to situations that used to stress you out. The Truman Show is a great example of this, and so is MadMen. Someone willing to lose clients, money, reputation, and status for the truth. Truman was willing to literally die for the truth.

  1. Openly share your shortcomings

  2. People don’t judge you on your shortcomings - they judge you on how you perceive your own.

  3. When you share flaws, it shows massive confidence

  4. Allow yourself to have genuine, deep, and authentic reactions

  5. Stop trying to look flawless or show more interest in conversations than is necessary

  6. When you want someone to like you, you’re at a disadvantage - a large frame means you’re there to see if you like THEM

  7. Freely and openly discuss what’s going on in your head whenever you feel something

  8. Admit things most people try to hide

  9. You don’t need to hide ANYTHING to be liked - this has to be your mindset

  10. It’s not about unloading emotionally on people or forcing these into conversations

  11. If you seem ashamed, people will feel judgment instead of openness

  12. The more comfortable you are with pauses and speaking at a comfortable pace, the stronger your frame will automatically be. There’s no exception to this.

  13. Stop desiring the approval or love from strangers.


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Do you want to explore how our team can help you integrate this information into your daily life? You can book a call right now and spend 20 minutes with an ABR Expert discussing how NCI-U can help you become your best version.

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