A THREE-STEP FORMULA FOR GREAT SMALL TALK

Avoid the silences, keep it going, and really connect better

As much as small talk is discounted as being unnecessary, in our world, it's not only essential...it's basically required.
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Having strong social skills is a powerful key that unlocks a lot of doors. From making new friends, to landing dream jobs and closing major business deals, small talk plays a vital role in our lives as humans. One of the joys of making small talk is that you never know where it will go, or what you will learn about someone. 

We teach a lot of classes on elicitation and interrogation, and one thing that the students are always shocked to see, is how much information you can get in a brief conversation. It's almost scary. 

Here is a four-step formula to ensure you can keep great conversations going, and what to do to ensure you don't encounter those awkward moments of silence.

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​"Small talk isn't just vital, it's basically required in our society."

- ​Chase Hughes

ASK

Ask an open-ended question. Stick to the five groups of small talk questions:

• What do they want to do with their life?
• What do they like about their city, job, community, etc.?
• What have they been up to with work and family?
• What do they have coming up that is interesting or that they are excited about?
• What projects are they excited about?

DISCOVER

After they tell you, ask a question about their answer that goes a little deeper. Even if it's only to clarify something about what they said. 

REACT

React to their remark by using a quick remark such as, 'That's fascinating!', or 'I bet that was a blast!'.
This shows you were actively listening, and that you share excitement, amusement, joy, etc. with what they care about too. 

RELATE

This is your chance to talk!
Relate something in your past that is similar to their topic. A quick story, comment about a friend who does something similar, or a memory you have of a time you had a similar experience. 

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AVOIDING THE SILENCE

All conversations have lulls. It's to be expected. 
Don't let these lulls go on too long. The best way to overcome these gaps in human connection is to start by revealing a positive emotion you're experiencing:

• I'm really excited about this conference...
• I'm so happy they were able to get this event set up in advance...
• I'm grateful the traffic was really smooth. I was worried I'd be late...
• I'm really impressed with the way everyone here seems to be so energetic...

Secondly, direct the conversation to current events. Stick with recent events that are mostly headlines, avoid religion and politics, and you should be back on track to start the small-talk formula above all over again. 
If you'd like to level up your skills to a seriously advanced level, our Practitioner Courses are guaranteed to provide the training to get you more reliable human outcomes in ANY scenario. 
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I hope this was useful. I'd love to hear how you've used it.